Last year at SAW I came back ready to take on the world, recharged, and just a felt a big push in the right direction. A lot changed after squam last year for me, even my art. This year was completely different. I am not sure I expected to get that same big push as last year, but now in the post squam afterglow I feel like I am where I need to be, moving at the pace I am suppose to be moving at, and that trying to force any of it right now isn’t necessary. It was exactly what I needed at this exact time.

I have never felt like this before, and I am trying to make sense of it all in my head. The thought of working at my own pace and not rushing, not making up deadlines and setting overwhelming goals and to do lists is something I have always thought would be there. The feeling that I am behind no matter how much I accomplish. All those feelings somehow disapeared while I created, let go, and played in my classes. Somewhere between carving into clayboard, painting faces upside down in my journal, and creating books with duct tape and chipboard, all those irrational thoughts and feelings went away. Now four days later they have yet to resurface and I like to think that I left them behind to float off on Squam Lake.

So no big epiphany or major aha moment, just some little shifts that are already making a huge difference.