Just some random thoughts that have been filling my head lately…

Life is really strange sometimes… How things intersect… Why do we question things…would it be better to let go of the outcome…I sometimes wish my journey didn’t have so many flat tires…i wonder if I actually could just leave today run down the block and just keep on running like forrest gump…who knows…why do really good things happen right along with really bad things…did we ever lose our marbles…why do I always want to go home when I am already home…is home a state of mind more than a physcial structure…why compare…can i…spending time alone sometimes is the best thing in the world, but other times it is excruciating to sit with…can i succeed….will i succeed…does my idea of success mean anything at all…if I believe in fate then why can’t i just accept where i am right now…why do we always want more…do i want more…am i one breakdown away from taking pills…who’s business is it to decide who is crazy and who is not…who is sane…who is better…who is lost…why do we always want it to be colder in the summer…and hotter in the winter…can’t we just be happy with what is…right now…this very moment…do i exist…are we just the bottom feeders of this ginormous universe…what is it like to be an ant…can i see the future…why do glimpses of things always feel like deja vu…does happiness exist…are we all just going with the flow…why settle…if i kept moving would you be able to find me…does true love exist…or do we just tell ourselves that it does because we have yet to actually find it…why does loving someone have to be the best and worst thing all wrapped into one…why do i care…what if i just vanished tomorrow…what if we all vanished tomorrow…would we care…would anyone care…is life finite…or infinite…can we really prove anything is real…can my thoughts go in infinite loop and eventually return to the first thought I ever had the exact moment I took my first breath in this world??

brain dump…should try sometime

Photo taken at Lake Louise Campground, Byron, Illinois.

That one word describes this week, and it isn’t even over yet. Been pretty productive in the studio this week, and have started on quite a few more paintings for the show in Sept & Oct.  There are also some other super exciting news I will have to share with you in the next coming weeks.

Lots of progress being made over here, and it seems like my blogging is suffering in the process. Been feeling overwhelmed some days and others just really embracing this time and these feelings of uncertainty and the little bit of fear that likes to creep in once in awhile.

Some things I really do need to do is take care of myself. I have noticed that my whole schedule is out of whack lately and I have been eating horrible and just not taking care of me. Which is why I now have three cold sores all at the same time. Which just sucks. I have been getting them since I was young, and every time I get one especially if it is visible it just crushes my self esteem and I feel like that is what everyone is staring at and they all want to run away from me. On the good side of all of this, they will be gone soon, and I am making a conscious effort to eat better foods, and make better decisions regarding my health. I have been keeping up with taking daily walks though, so that is a good step. Gotta keep it up, especially when the weather gets cold.

Here are some photos from my studio, a bunch of works in progress for the show…

She had enough balloons to finally take flight. That first step is always the toughest though so it was good that her best friend Steve was there to see her off…

View of my studio, from a few months ago. It is a bit more messy now.

The name of my latest painting. A ton more in the works right now. Have been sorta frantic trying to get ideas going for my upcoming show in September.

The good news I wanted to share with you though is that I will exhibiting my work at the Effe Leven Gallery for the month December in a show called “Play Child Play.” I am super excited as this gallery is in the River North area of Chicago and it can be tough to find galleries that are willing to show emerging artists in general in many places around downtown. This will be my very first gallery exhibition. Will get more info as it comes, as to when the opening reception will be and all that!

I have been so forgetful today it is just crazy. This morning I totally blanked on my pin when I went to the ATM. I blanked so much that I got locked out from using my pin and had to go get money by actually going into the bank and talking to someone. Then I went to Ulta and got so lucky I got the very last foundation primer left, love the stuff. Then went on to Target and bought a few things there, and put my Ulta bag in the cart with my other bags. Who knew that the bag being orange and the cart being orange made it a little harder to see so I just left it. Didn’t realize that I had left it until I got all the way home. As I quickly darted back to the store I find that all the carts had been taken inside. So I stopped by the Customer Service desk and it was there. One of the people bringing in carts must have found it. Talk about getting lucky not only would I have spent a small fortune just to get foundation primer I would have to go to another Ulta just to find it!! So hopefully I won’t forget anything else today. I am so ready to lose my mind as it is.

This week has been going so great for me so far, and I suppose getting lucky on getting my bag back is just part of it. Here’s to hoping things just keep getting better every week. Would be super sweet if it worked that way. Gotta really relish these good times and not let the crappy stuff rain on your parade.

Will be back later with a new painting to show and some of the good news!!

Yes I do realize I totally forgot about View Friday last week. I remembered on Saturday. It will be back this week, as long as I don’t forget…

So CJ my totally loveable black lab is mostly a very calm dog. There are times where he just stares off into space I am sure contemplating when his next meal will be served or whether he will get to play fetch. Every so often though we will just be playing tug a war or keep away with one of his toys and he just loses it. All out spaz fest running around in circles, and he gets this look in his eye like just push him a little further and he may just lose his marbles completely. Up until today I have not been able to get this spaz fest on video. I got the tail end of one today. It was a mini spaz out but it’s just a little taste of what he is capable of. The funny thing about all this is, after he stops he will just go about his business like nothing happened.

Weird dog.

Fun stuff you can do with photo booth. The possibilities are endless.

Been trying to listen more lately, listen to myself, to others, the universe, etc…

It is tough, and I haven’t had much to say lately. I have started so many posts on here and just deleted them after a sentence or two. The words are just not coming together lately. Although I do feel I have never really written all that much on here, just a few thoughts every once and awhile. I know they are my thoughts and I can literally put whatever I want here. Sometimes I wish I could be more open here and write really cool stories about my life. There is a lot going on in my life right now, though the stuff I can write about I often times forget, or when I go to type up some witty story it doesn’t come out right.

I have always had a really hard time with keeping up journals in general. The fact that I have stayed on top of this one for the most part amazes me. Although it is mainly a place to show off my art, and pictures more than my writing.

I guess what I am trying to say is, I want to write more and am going to really try to bring some more substance to this blog. A little more than just photos and art. I am not sure any of it will be good, but then again no one is forcing you to read it! I am also guessing the writing part will get easier and better as I do it more. Practice makes perfect.

Well here is to trying! and listening!